NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday is actually Caught Red-Handed | Autostraddle

This week on NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday: porno, adult sex toys, in addition to winner of Awkward Lesbian Gender Story-Fest 2012!

In case you’ve forgotten:

Maybe you’ve noticed just how anytime any individual brings up one thing gross about lesbian intercourse, we usually link to the fingernails blog post? That’s because the online world seriously does not have the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person gender equivalent of modern’s Intercourse tales or

Sassy

‘s Mortifying times.

The winner will receive the

Pop Your Own Top equipment

from
Good Oscillations
this package was previously
evaluated by NSFW Sunday
), which includes:

+
Hitachi Magic Wand

+
Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone attachment

+ 2 oz. container of Please Liquid Lube

+ And internet reputation!

Additionally the winner is no. 3, banging and also the Police, with 44.8% of the votes!

The summer months before university, I experienced my basic gf, and once i came across the miracles of homosexual sexytimes I found myself obviously preoccupied, to the stage to be willing to get it done virtually everywhere. Display A: one-night after a dinner away, we decided to park my car behind a closed-for-the-summer primary school and get at it. A lady’s gotta do just what a woman’s gotta perform, amiright??

So things are heading fantastic until we see headlights behind us therefore realize IT’S THE COPS. We get clothed as rapid as humanly feasible and after a few frantic mere seconds of, “YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,” “zero YOU’RE,” we choose take equivalent responsibility and in addition we both get free from the auto. The cop is a huge middle-aged dude and obviously surprised observe two ladies emerge from the car. He’s all, “what exactly are you girls carrying out straight back right here?” and that I don’t also imagine intercourse took place to him as a possibility, even though we had been sweaty, disheveled, the automobile ended up being steamy, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT the BEST! Therefore we’re like, “Oh, uh, hanging out, sorry.” He eyes us suspiciously and states, “Well, I got to take your information.” My lady is freaking down about the woman moms and dads getting wind of something, but the guy assures united states it is simply routine treatment. So the guy hands all of us a notepad and it has all of us take note of our very own labels (the reason why he did not simply inquire about the permits, You will find little idea). The guy shines his torch therefore we can see the notepad immediately after which I see … my girlfriend’s hand is included in blood. I suppose I would obtained my personal duration while having sex and hadn’t observed. So IMMEDIATELY the policeman is much like, “WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT HERE?” And my personal girlfriend sees and freaks completely and comprises some insane story about having cut herself about pocket-knife on the keychain. The policeman claims on looking around the automobile (for bodies?) and, discovering nothing, at long last ultimately ultimately lets us go. But not before my personal sweetheart features unintentionally gotten my personal duration blood around his notepad.

We vowed never to make love behind a college again (but not never ever in a vehicle, cuz which is just too-good), after that laughed for like 6 months straight. For decades afterward we might joke regarding the time we had gotten caught ‘”red-handed.”

Congratulations, and thank you so much to
everyone exactly who registered
!

+
Based on Ms. Naughty
, female pornography people became progressively more comfortable with getting feminine sex sites people:

“something is starting to become noticeable over the past year usually feminine customers are becoming incredibly confident with person product; the newest generation of internet users see porn as their birthright and nothing are surprised in regards to. And renewable visions of pornography are more and more getting adopted by increasing numbers of people.”

+ Orgasms are, unsurprisingly,
more fun
than asleep capsules as an end to insomnia:

“Those muscle tissue contractions are not merely within vagina – many women feel their particular orgasm through their unique hips and feet also, and feel they will have had a work-out after they come. Enhance the physical exercies the orgasmic mind-blowing that clears around much of the brain dirt through the day…and i do believe you found a powerful way to loosen up sufficient to get to sleep at night. Definitely better to obtain yourself off than to get habituated to resting tablets.”

+ The
“” new world “” of sex-scandals
incorporate individuals focused by their unique exes, former friends, or overall complete strangers:

“recently, an assess refused a plea by popular news center TheDirty.com, featuring user-submitted content, to write off a suit produced by a female who was simply the subject of awful rumors on the internet site. Sarah Jones, a Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader, alleges that she ended up being defamed in 2 articles released on the site in 2009. The entries claimed that she slept around a whole bunch together with STDs.

This means that: this is actually mature, highbrow stuff we’re talking about here.”

+ The LA City Council has actually pledged to pass an ordinance needing porn performers to use condoms on ready. Folks are
conflicted about it
:

“The condom concern speaks with the strange social area the porn market occupies: It is for any mainstream, not of it. Publicly, we see porn as a danger to itself—and to you. But privately, well, we see porn. ‘I wouldn’t worry about making use of condoms more,’ 20-year-old performer Lily LaBeau told me. ‘It’s just not what folks want to see.'”

+ brush vibration innovation + a dildo organization = super
strange, intriguing adult toys
:

“Revel system’s pitch is the fact that resonant engine innovation permits the unit to make a very strenuous and pleasing vibration, some thing even more modern-day and sophisticated compared to the old-fashioned units proliferating the sex marketplace these days.

‘The big points that people dislike about these products, practically the majority of them, get back to the motor,’ [Revel Body founder Robin] Elenga states. ‘It appears like with a vibrator, you had need to participate on vibration. But nobody is doing that. Its variety of a head-slapper whenever you view it like that.'”

+ And
Violet-blue produces about
why unclear gender sector marketing is good (since it helps to make the business like essentially each alternate market) but bad (since it is maybe not useful to buyers):

“I’m just a caveman — that will be, a consumer — very let me know precisely why I would need to place your surely-expensive unit back at my oh-so-private thingie.

I possibly could ascribe having less details negativity and an unwillingness to fairly share the down and dirty of sex, but I really don’t read it this way. It’s merely Hype Repetition, rather than real information…and, not surprisingly, it happens in every industry in the tech industry. Adult sex toys — specifically vibrators — are products whose interior processes are probably unfamiliar to the majority of of this audience of tech news. But Vibrator media hype should not get any more of a totally free move than Smartphone excitement.”

Disclaimer:


All the photos on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and don’t belong to all of us. Each is linked and paid towards best of the capabilities hoping of bringing in more traffic to your tumblrs and photographers that have endowed all of us with this particular images. The addition of an image right here should not be interpreted as an assertion regarding the model’s gender identity or intimate orientation. If there’s a photograph included right here that belongs to both you and you prefer it got rid of, please e-mail the technology movie director at cee [at] autostraddle mark com and it will surely be eliminated promptly, no concerns asked.